Another Day, Another Plan

Well, it seems my plan didn't go to well. He said no. After dangling me like a toy for over a day and a half, he said no. And you know what, it's made me see something. He was a coward, he couldn't come right out and say it, oh no, nothing like that for him.

After talking to my friends and making up horrific tortures, I decided on my plan for the next few months.
1. NEVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE get back with him. Not even in moments of desperation. It'll do me no good if i do.
2. Go and see my German friend in London in October. I haven't been to London in almost a year, and it will be a trip to remember, seeing one of my closest friends for the first time. And it means, I get to terrorise London to my heart's content. And go shopping. Lots. And I like shopping
3. Get a job. I've been dithering over this, my self confidence isn't what it could be, none of me is what it should be, BUT this might give me back some of that and help me to cope with people constantly phoning me up and asking me to pay my debts.
4. Sort my debts out. I refuse to deal by phone, so letters and possibly emails will be the way to go. And it means I don't get disturbed and set into a severely damaging mental state.
5. Be more assertive. Tell people No and mean it, and not be treated like a doormat by my family.
6. Try and volunteer when time allows it. I have already applied to the GirlGuide UK association, so we will see how I do.
7. Use my voice for good and get my arse into gear and hopefully into a band. That would be my fondest wish, and help with my assertiveness, confidence and self worth.
8. This is the biggie, this is the scary thing. Go to Finland with my best mate for Midsummer next year, go and stay in a hotel together, go and get drunk, see bands, go shopping, do the touristy things. This involves a lot of travel on my own, and being in busy places. But as my friend has already said, she'll be there with me, helping me along the way. So I won't be alone.

All in all, I've had an extremely positive day today. I hope this continues. I've set my blog up to try and give me an outlet for all my ups and downs, and it is. As long as I keep posting and keep reading, I'll not forget what I'm here for.
Now, I'm going to play on Hex, a few forums, and on MSN.

Kez x